CHOOSING AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER. First of all, tell God of your need for an accountability partner and ask Him to guide you to the perfect person. Then keep your eyes open. Look for someone who has the following qualities:

• Loves the Lord and has a vital walk with Him.
• Shares your convictions regarding accountability.
• Expresses a desire to grow, and to help you grow.
• Someone you respect and trust.
• A "kindred spirit"--someone you'd naturally choose as a friend.
• Honest about their own weaknesses.
• Not a "guts-spiller" to anyone and everyone who will listen.
• Not a member of the opposite sex.
• Probably not a co-worker (you may be tempted to be less than totally honest).

GETTING STARTED. After you've identified a partner, start slow. It will take time to build up to the level of trust and intimacy that characterizes a good accountability relationship. Start with general subjects, such as your testimony, your short-term nd long-term goals, your strengths and weaknesses, etc. Over a period of weeks, you can move into more specific and intimate details.

KEEPING IT GOING. Location is key. Mix it up if you can--don't get in a rut. Meet for lunch, breakfast, dinner, coffee, your office, their home, etc.

Ask Questions. Choose some questions to ask each other from the following list:

1. What problem has consumed you this past week?
2. Which direction is your personal relationship with Christ going?
3. How have you been tempted this past week?
4. Do you feel emotionally drawn or vulnerable to someone other than your spouse?
5. Have you lacked integrity in any of your financial dealings?
6. How have your times in the Word and prayer been?
7. Have you abused your position of ministry or leadership in any way?
8. Have you given adequate priority time to your spouse? Your kids? Your friendships? How?
9. Have you been diligent in areas of agreed-upon personal discipline, such as diet, exercise, prayer, anger-control, gossiping, morning wake-up time, etc.?
10. What progress have you been making toward your life goals?
11. Have you observed anything in my life that I need to hear about?
12. Have you lied to me in any of your answers?

Pray. Few people will pray for you as deeply and consistently as your accountability partner(s). Take advantage of that.

Accountability Projects. Memorize Scripture together, read a book and discuss a chapter each week, read through the Bible in a year, swap ideas on family devotions, study a book of the Bible or a topic and share your findings each week, take up a new sport together, take a class together.

Hang. The time you spend together shouldn't only be formal across-the-table meetings. Go to a ballgame, a concert, bowling, double- or triple-date with your spouses, go jogging, rock climbing, skiing, etc. There is great value in "hang time"--just hanging around with each other, with no particular agenda. The late Tom Skinner once said, "Some of the most helpful conversations take place during hang time." Do the things good friends do.

Chris Adsit--a 23-year veteran of Campus Crusade--lives in Eugene, OR, with his wife, Rahnella, and four children. Chris, who currently directs the Disciplemakers International ministry, has served as director of the Athletes in Action track team and has published one book, Personal Disciplemaking.