On my list of goals to accomplish, I've written "learn to cook well." It's been there for years. In an effort to tackle the goal, my mom and I took cooking classes from an acclaimed chef in our area a few years ago. He whipped up a gourmet meal in what seemed like a matter of minutes and handed us the recipes for us to replicate in our respective kitchens.

I've pulled out the recipe packet occasionally since then, but each time I stuff it back in the drawer minutes later. Just looking at the complicated, multi-step directions overwhelms me. What's more, I am afraid that I will not reach the same perfect results the chef seemed to achieve so effortlessly. Instead, I settle for what's manageable—boiling noodles and topping them with spaghetti sauce from a jar.

At times, these same feelings of being overwhelmed creep up in me concerning prayer. I hear people referred to as "prayer warriors" who pray "big prayers," and I wonder what formula I must follow to be and do the same. I desire to grow in my prayer life, but sometimes I don't know where to begin. I don't want to just pray "spaghetti prayers," but I sometimes wonder if I need to follow certain steps perfectly to achieve success, much like the gourmet chef.

One thing I've begun to realize is that unlike cooking, the focus of prayer is not on the finished product, but on the process. It doesn't require a recipe but instead an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

Prayer is coming to Him with a humble heart that says, "God, I want to spend time with you." Author Larry Crabb reinforces this in The PAPA Prayer, "There are no techniques in good conversation with God." God longs to spend time with us, to hear us express our feelings and to speak to us, too. The crucial part is that we put forth the time to nurture our relationship with Him. Instead of focusing on saying the perfect words for the right length of time, let us view prayer as an invitation to know God more deeply and offer our hearts for Him to know us and enjoy the relationship. Or, to put it simply: to move beyond recipe prayers.

Just as I am learning to be intentional in the time I spend with the people I love, the same is appropriate with the Lord. Although following techniques should not be the focus, I have found some helpful ways to enjoy my time with the Lord in prayer:

SCHEDULE A DATE WITH GOD

"Finding a time and a place to get away with the Lord is critical in keeping our priorities straight and in line with His priorities,' says Milt Monell, director of the Great Commission Prayer Movement of Campus Crusade for Christ.

It is also helpful to find a place to pray that is inviting for you. Jeannine Smith, also a staff member with Campus Crusade, says, "Praying in my comfy chair in my bedroom actually gets me out of bed in the morning when I think about being able to process through circumstances, what I'm believing about God and myself, and what He's saying to me."

However, there are seasons of life where it is very challenging to carve out uninterrupted time with God. As a young mother, the late Ruth Graham prayed, "Lord, forgive me that I have so little time to spend on my knees. Raising children and running a busy house, I have to do most of my praying 'on the hoof,' as it were. But, Lord, You know my heart is kneeling." My mom calls this "keeping a running conversation with God all day as we go about our tasks."

It's not the time or place that makes prayer magical; consistently making time with God a priority in your day is most vital.

BE HONEST

During a difficult relationship breakup in college, I honestly expressed to God how I felt, even if I didn't say the "right words." Reading Psalm 62:8: "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him" (emphasis mine) served as my inspiration. If I felt angry or disappointed, I felt the freedom to tell Him.

It also helped clarify Jesus' caution about prayer in Matthew 6:7: "And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words." As with a friend, God desires for me to vulnerably express my thoughts to Him, rather than say religious words that sound pious. There's no formula needed—just honesty.

ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS

"Praying aloud keeps my mind on track and keeps me from wandering to random tangents," my neighbor Kelly Rudisill told me. Tasks, concerns and wandering thoughts can divert our attention when praying.

Another way I have learned to keep my mind focused is by writing my prayers down in a journal. It's also encouraging to read through my prayers months or years later and celebrate how God worked in my heart and in a particular situation. I try to remember that when I am praying, I am communicating with my closest Friend. And He deserves all of my attention.

INVOLVE OTHERS

Ever since I was very young, two women, Eithal Curry, 90, and Esther Pikel, 79, have prayed for my family specifically every week for more than 20 years. We often comment that their prayers have saved us from many unknown catastrophes. When I asked Mrs. Pikel about prayer, she commented, "If I tell someone that I am going to pray for them, I will try to do so that very minute."

As I grow in knowing God more, I realize that prayer isn't coming to Him with lists of requests, but it's enjoying Him and expressing the joys and concerns in accordance with His will.

Recently, my roommate Molly offered to help me expand my cooking repertoire beyond spaghetti. So we flipped through the recipes until we found one that seemed reasonable to try—even if it didn't turn out perfectly. The process of enjoying Molly's friendship while cooking in the kitchen surpassed the desire to emulate the chef's recipe just so. It may not have been the world's greatest dish, but it sure was a step above spaghetti.

Contact the writer at michelle.toy@ccci.org.

ACTION POINT - The Next Step >What area of prayer could you work on today?